Old Consciousness vs New Consciousness
Soothing vs Escaping
When something goes in a direction we don’t want, the old consciousness way of dealing with it is to try to fix it, make it right, fight it, or escape from it. New consciousness tell us, “just be with it”, but sometimes being with whatever isn’t working for us seems negative or bad for us, and there’s that immediate powerful need within us to fix it however we are programmed to handle these kinds of things. Being with what’s wrong in our lives feels like being held underwater and drowning, so the idea of staying there in watchful awareness seems impossible.
Very few of us were taught how to soothe ourselves, to comfort or nurture ourselves. We were taught that those skills were to be focused on others in our lives; we give that away, not use it on ourselves. Our inner critic automatically renders us unworthy of these natural gifts, and we drain ourselves every day when we don’t practice self-soothing, and then when we need to reach out and soothe others, it comes from an empty space within us and feels false to us, making us feel even less worthy. The ego captures us in this spiral and refuses to let us feed on the natural food that’s the energy of life: unconditional love, it always starts with ourselves.
This Christmas eve, give yourself the gift that keeps on giving, that overflows from you and out to all others you encounter: unconditional love. The way you start is simple; just pick any moment that doesn’t feel right to you, an argument with a loved one, a long holiday line at the grocery store, someone cuts you off in traffic, unpaid bills, anything at all that puts you in the feeling of fear, anger, pain or general negativity. Instead of moving the way your ego wants to lead, take a few long deep breaths and feel yourself watching you, see what the observer in you sees, see that your observer also sees you with unconditional love, understanding and acceptance. Feel the truth of your observer, and in doing so, you release yourself from the bondage of the ego to a place where you can feel the unconditional love soothing you.
Hear your observer say to you, “I’m here, I promise I won’t leave you, I am holding you with my complete and endless awareness, accepting you and all of your feelings exactly as they are, no need to change a thing, just take my hand, feel my unconditional love for you, just be with these feelings you have right now. If the feeling is uncomfortable or even intolerable, don’t try to change it, just be with it and feel my deepest understanding of who you are. I promise you that if you do not struggle against or try to escape what you think are intolerable feelings, I will be here with you in complete awareness and compassion until it goes away. Everything you don’t want eventually leaves until all you are left with is you, and me. We are one in unconditional love.”
As you practice this ‘being’ with whatever ‘is’, exactly as it is, you’ll not only find that it dissolves more and more quickly, leaving you to bask in that glow of love, but you’ll naturally start feeling differently about the circumstances and the people who you think caused the problem in the first place, and the love will naturally flow from your own good feelings about yourself outward to everyone around you. Fill up on love for the holidays, and may joy, peace and love free you to be who your really are. Love.